


He Ain't Wrong Though

by Jeanne160



Series: Dark comedy [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Dark Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanne160/pseuds/Jeanne160
Summary: Hakoda's first public speech goes horribly wrong. Later, Sokkka learns his attempt at explaining the plans for the Black Sun Invasion really wasn't so bad.
Relationships: Bato & Hakoda (Avatar), Bato & Sokka (Avatar), Hakoda & Sokka (Avatar)
Series: Dark comedy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878658
Kudos: 22





	He Ain't Wrong Though

**Author's Note:**

> Thank my sister for this mess. We were rewatching atla and we made one too many dark jokes.

"Alright Hakoda," his father's mouth was set in a stern line, but his eyes were warm. "Since you're leading the hunting trip, you'll announce the plans."

"But what if I say the wrong thing?" After all, Hakoda is only sixteen.

"I'm right here," his father places a hand on his shoulder, felt only by the weight of it through his parka. "If it looks like it's going poorly I'll help."

"Thanks, dad."

Hakoda wraps his arms around his father for a quick embrace. He's still nervous, but it's not so bad if his father's there to help. Hakoda proceeds to the head of the tent where a small rug has been placed. The tent is filled with men, ready for a good hunt. They all know what the plan is. This is just a formality, a last minute chance to boost morale and ensure a good hunt. Hakoda takes a deep breath before standing on the rug, facing the hunting party.

"Noble warriors," Hakoda can feel the butterfly-bees in his stomach take flight the instant he begins, "We are all gathered here today for one purpose."

Someone asks in the following pause, "Is he officiating a marriage?"

"Dad says hunting is like marriage," Bato says a little too loudly in response. Everyone chuckles. Hakoda can feel himself flush.

"So the caribou-bears are all at the top of the ice cliff, which is at least 15 men tall." Hakoda tries to reel the hunting party back in. He looks to his father, just off to the right. His father who is making pushing motions.

"If we don't fall while scaling the cliff and break our necks, then we will have to worry about our prayer pushing us to our deaths." Hakoda's father face-palms.

The tent is dead silent.

"But," Hakoda says a little too loudly, voice cracking halfway through the word. He clears his throat and tries again.

"But, if we can scare the herd we can make them fall off the cliff edge. Unfortunately the weight of the caribou-bears might break the ice under the cliff, which would not only have made the hunt a waste of time, but will leave us stranded without a way to get home." Hakoda winces as keeps talking, and he'd really, really, like to stop now.

"So we're all gonna die," Bato's father has a jovial tone, in complete contrast to the statement he made. Hakoda is starting to understand why his own father disapproves of their friendship. While Bato isn't as morbid, some his jokes land the same way his father's does.

"That's not what I mean," Hakoda keeps trying to salvage the unsalvageable. "This trip is going to be dangerous, and there's a lot that could go wrong."

Hakoda looks to his father For help. Said father has gone back to the pushing motions, which clearly means he thinks Hakoda can turn this disaster around.

"Anyway," Hakoda continues, "if we managed to send a few caribou-bears to their deaths, we'll need to drag them home. There's only twenty of us, so the most we'll be able to take back is five animals. That will mean dividing into teams of four, which will only work if nobody injures themselves on the way down the cliff. If anyone becomes injured then he'll have to be helped back by at least one other person. And that's if the injury isn't fatal."

"Dark," Hakoda's great uncle heckles from the back of the group. Hakoda is pretty sure the elder is too old for this trip, but he's not about to kick his own family out. Not with how swimmingly his attempt at public speaking is going.

"And if it is fatal then we'll have to decide between dragging our own dead home, or the food for our village." Hakoda keeps looking at his very unhelpful father.

"He ain't wrong though," Bato's Uncle calls from off to the side.

"Nanuk!" His husband slaps his arm, not hard enough to hurt but enough to get his point across.

"What my son is trying to say," finally his father comes to his rescue, "Is that we'll need to be cautious, and think smart."

Hakoda's father manages to boost morale enough that the trip doesn't result in anyone dying.

* * *

"It's okay son," Hakoda comforted Sokka after his failed attempt at explaining the plans for the Black Sun Invasion, "You did alright."

"No, I didn't," Sokka couldn't lift his gaze from the ground, "I failed you."

"Yeah," Bato chimed in, "But at least you didn't make anyone sure they were going to die."

"What?" Sokka looked up in surprise, "Dad?"

Bato retold Hakoda's first failed public speech to his children.

**Author's Note:**

> The whole thing got copied from a notebook to a word document on my phone and then to here. Because I'm publishing from my phone, I'm having a little trouble adding tags. If there are any tags that should be added but are not, please let me know.


End file.
